Catching up with Lauren Chan
⚡ Going on a deep dive with the model, TV personality and inclusivity activist
Happy Friday! I had a busy week of ~theatricality~ seeing Jesus Christ Superstar at Ed Mirvish and Kathy Griffin in London, Ont. Both were wild!
This week we’re getting know Lauren Chan—model, advocate and tv personality.
Lauren and I first crossed paths at FASHION Magazine when she was a digital intern and I was an assistant editor checking facts. (Speaking of facts, here’s a fun one: Lauren and I were both turned down the first time we applied for internships at the mag—go figure!)
I reconnected with Lauren when she appeared on The Globe and Mail’s Canada’s Best Dressed feature in 2018 and have been following along with her journey ever since. I also interviewed her for a feature I wrote for Elle Canada about boob-forward runway designs in 2022.
Things really took off for Lauren last year when she sold her plus-size luxury fashion brand Henning to Universal Standard and came out in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition, becoming the first queer plus-size model to be featured in the issue. No bigs!
Since then, Lauren’s really come into her own as a public figure and an outspoken advocate for inclusivity—mother is mothering!
We caught up for a chat after her appearance on the panel at the Jenny Bird supercharge conference, an afternoon of conversation and inspiration, where Lauren shared the stage with Tessa Virtue, Catriona Smart and Jenny Bird.
Here’s our condensed and edited conversation.
Hi Lauren! Can you tell me the story about the first time you were asked to write about plus-size fashion?
I think the biggest lesson that I’ve learned in my life and in my career is that, if I had leaned into what made me different sooner, I would have had all the good things in my life sooner. I don’t regret it, but I would have been out and making inclusive fashion and have these incredible communities around me and been on a platform where I can share those messages sooner.
The pivotal point at which I learned that lesson, was the moment you’re referencing when I had been a fashion writer for a few years at American Glamour, and I was young, and my strategy was still, as a person and as an employee and as a creative, to try to be like everyone else, to be like what I saw fashion people were like in the movies and around me. And because I’m not that, because I’m a chubby, Asian, Armenian, gay immigrant to the US from Canada, what was authentic to most of the people around me wasn’t authentic to me.
At the time, the thing that I was most shameful of was my size, being that I was a size 14 to 18 in the years I worked in Glamour amongst fashion folks who are largely sample-size women. I tried to do everything that I could to not call attention to the fact that I was the big girl in the room.
I guess I thought I was somehow quote-unquote pulling that off when I ended up in a car on the way to a fashion show with my editor-in-chief at the time [Cindi Leive] and she asked me if I would be interested in writing a piece on plus-size fashion or size-inclusive fashion. My skin went hot and I kind of froze, because I had this moment of, ‘Oh shit. It’s still obvious.’ My joke is like, she could see me. And the reality is, of course she could.
And what she saw, and why I adore Cindi Leive so much, is that she saw the potential and the uniqueness and the authenticity in it and the ability for connection and to write something different and new and to progress the industry forward. And so, not because I could see that, but because I was a good employee, I got some pitches on her desk the next morning and from there the rest is kind of history.
That must have been a lot of pressure. Compared with Toronto, New York is just so different in terms of how people present themselves and actually wear the latest designer collections. And people are noticing!
It’s the ivory tower. Vogue is in the building. Especially working in fashion, how you’re able to present yourself and dress is directly correlated to your upward mobility and therefore your personal wealth and therefore your life. Although it can be often seen as frivolous, fashion is really integral to our lives and livelihood and wellbeing especially if, like you and I, you’re a person who works in the industry. It does matter. I was showing up to meetings in plus-size Forever 21 and the peer beside me pitching for the exact same page in the magazine was in current season Dries Van Noten.
And you just couldn’t access those designer clothes because they weren’t available to fit you. I’m always interested in people who go from something intangible like editorial to product development. How did that journey go from writing stories and sharing your ideas to creating something?
Someone made a joke to me early on that I was building the plane as I was flying. I was really fuelled by the personal, emotional, deep-seated fire that being left out puts in your gut and I just figured it out.
It was a big pivot but I was so full of energy. I couldn’t sleep at night. I was up writing ideas and my body was coursing with literal vibration. I was so motivated from within, not in a way that I could fabricate or call up if I needed to. That occurred almost outside of me.
Another big thing for you was the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit moment and not just being in Sports Illustrated but revealing a personal side of yourself in a very public way. What was it like sharing a story about your sexuality to an audience that went well beyond your community?
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit requested a casting tape from me at a time in my life where, for the year or so prior, I had been going through a personal revelation right wherein I had realized I was queer. I had come out to my then husband and I was working on restructuring my sense of self and my life. In that way, this timing was kismet.
When I sat down to film this casting tape, I decided to tell my personal story instead of my usual spiel. So I sat down and said, “I’m Lauren, I typically say this about my career, but today I want to tell you that I’m coming out and I hope that resonates and maybe we can help spread some queer joy with a partnership like this and change some minds about queer people at a pivotal time.”
It clearly resonated and here we are. But again, it was a motivation that was a little bit outside of me. I was just really moved to do it.
Was it scary or were you like, “I’m ready”?
I think that the first part of my career with size inclusion and putting myself out there and having the vulnerability to say, on a platform like Glamour magazine and Condé Nast and the world fashion stage, that I’m plus-size, I am not what has been accepted by this industry for many, many, many years and I know I’m not alone and things are about to change—the success that I saw doing that prepared me mentally to be able to do something similar for the 2SLGBTQIA+ community with a platform like Sports Illustrated. In both instances, I knew it was about more than just me being vulnerable. And that’s what helps me get over the scary moments.
It’s funny how we have that fear, because it’s not like you’re doing anything wrong. You’re doing the opposite! But we're somehow still afraid of the most beautiful thing. I noticed lately you’ve been posting about the male gaze and moving beyond that. How is that going?
I am huge on mental health. I love therapy. Self discovery is something that makes me feel really well and good and aligned and also helps me find the communities that I feel best in. So I really like to get heady about deep feelings and where they come from and, when that intersects with my work, like fashion and size and 2SLGBTQIA+ representation, that for me is like the sweet spot. I could talk about it all day long.
I’ve been talking about ditching the male gaze recently and I’ve finally gotten my head wrapped around it because, when I came out, I had a visceral reaction that I didn't yet understand where I just felt calm in my body. My self consciousness about the way I look melted away.
I didn’t know if that was because my particular girlfriend is loving and sweet and kind and accepting and celebratory of me and me physically, or if it was a deeper self-view thing or if it was being amongst more women who love women. And it’s kind of a combination of all of them that I have, at least for me, distilled into the idea that I no longer feel like an object existing within the male gaze.
I no longer have the little voice in my head that says, “You shouldn't wear that because that’s not what women are supposed to dress like in order to be attractive in this society.” And I don’t necessarily mean attractive to a single man walking down the street. I mean, in a meeting, what’s acceptable? What’s going to have you seen as palatable and reasonable for the opportunity et cetera et cetera? I mean, walking down the street or riding the subway in order to stay out of harm's way, right? With strangers that might put your safety at risk based on what you look like and what you’re wearing. And also, of course, when it comes to dating and relationships. It has been really really, really freeing.
I think that my style has changed in a way wherein I am not worried about being palatable. I don’t worry about dressing in a flattering way. I’m not worried about covering up enough for certain environments. And I don't think I’m a radical dresser. I don’t feel like my style has changed in a very drastic way but the way I feel in clothes and my attitude, and the way I talk about style has definitely changed and I just feel more like myself, and I feel less like I’m being judged.
It’s more true to who you are. And you’re not following the same kind of rules or expectations that you used to, wherever they were coming from.
This is a conversation on a level of like male gaze and beauty ideal and cultural norms and you know, the tone set for how women are most acceptable by entertainment, culture, fashion, politics, et cetera under patriarchy. This is not a conversation—and I'm often misinterpreted about this—what an individual man finds attractive on an individual woman. These are broad norms that we all live with and that most people don't even realize are in their individual minds when they get dressed in the morning or do their makeup.
One thing that you were talking about at the Jenny Bird event was saying no to things today that you would have said yes to yesterday. What are some things today that you’re like—“nah”?
I feel like there are so many things that I say no to now, because I have a new sense of self. One of those things is being palatable for purely for other people. Of course, I’m always respectful and appropriate and I don’t like to really like rock the boat and I’m professional and I thrive in those environments. And above all, you know, I am Canadian! But I’m no longer palatable purely for other people's comfort.
Thank you Lauren for chatting with me and for all that you do!
Before we go, here are three four things to enjoy this weekend.
🗞️ The new Globe and Mail Style Advisor
The May issue of The Globe and Mail Style Advisor magazine is out today and I’ve got some very fun stories inside! Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing more in this newsletter on two of the life-changing press trips I was lucky to take for this issue. Stay tuned! 🙏
💐 Toronto Flower Market
This delightful annual flower market returns this Saturday for its 11th (?) season. Tons of local vendors will be on the CAMH grounds at the south-west corner of Queen and Shaw from 10am to 3pm. More details here, I wish I could be there!
🦪 Ruth Reichl’s new novel
If, like me, you’re *obsessed* with anything glory-days magazine people do, you’ll want to get your paws on former Gourmet editor-in-chief Ruth Reichl’s new book The Paris Novel, which I read about in the Chris Hemsworth Vanity Fair—obvi! It kicks off with some vintage Dior and a trip to Les Deux Magots to eat oysters and—say no more, I’ve already placed my library hold.
🍶 Førs Sale
My favourite brand of poetic objects for tu casa is having a 30 percent off everything sale with the code THANKSMOM. Now’s your chance to scoop up a sweet Førs carafe and cup set for your bedside (I have it in coral). I’m also partial to the teapots.
Catch you next week! 😘
I love these conversations. Thank you for sharing the joy. I loved reading about her success with Henning. 💪